Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Some days are good... some are bad

I'm sure everyone has days when they feel like they woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Some days you feel like you woke up on the wrong side of the world! I go through days like these frequently. Today was one of those days. I woke up, late for class. That didn't bother me so much. Everyone is late once a while. But when I woke up, I felt this sadness that I find hard to describe. A sadness that came from within. I tried to brush it off and go about my day. But, I couldn't find the courage to even walk out of my room. Thinking it might be exhaustion, I decided to skip my first class and go back to bed. After waking up an hour later, I found the feeling of depression still lingering around. I didn’t feel like going to school, eating, talking to anyone or doing anything I normally do. I didn’t even feel like walking through my garden, as I normally do every morning. But, I had to go class, so I threw on some jeans and a shirt, tied up my hair and made my way to school. I went about my daily activities, hoping this feeling of sadness would disappear. But it didn’t. I felt like I had a boulder on top of me. Feeling heaviness all day. I walked with my head down all day. I kept trying to tell myself it was exhaustion. I went through the day, came home and watered my garden, ate and have been sitting in front of my computer since. I tried telling a couple of people how I felt, but that didn’t really help. Maybe I needed a boost. Maybe my body was being weird. But why is my body weird 10 days of the 30 in the month. I spend almost every other day feeling like this. I’m not writing this to vent or to feel better. I want to know if other people feel this way and when they do, what do they do to fix it. The day went on. I kept moving forward but the feeling stayed. I would like to know what I can do to rid myself of this feeling. Whatever it might be. And no, medication is not an option.

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