Monday, February 22, 2010

Forward... Not backwards....

The last couple of days have been especially hard for me because I lost a big part of me. I lost my car. I understand that its just a mere car but honestly, my car was one of my accomplishments throughout the years. It was something that I could have said was my "own." I gave my car away because I simply couldn't afford it anymore. Payments were too high and being unemployed left me helpless.

I cried about it. Handing over the keys was especially hard. But, I told myself that it would be OK.

Then today I learned a bigger lesson. I was watching T.V, one of mom's Indian dramas- "Betaab Dil Ki Tamana and even though the story line was nothing close to mine, something that was said made me realize the reality of life. One of the characters said, "You aren't going back in life, you're actually going forward. Even though you are returning to your older lifestyle, you're still going forward because you are pursing your true happiness." It just happened to be love that he was talking about. 

So, I figured, although, I am going back to one of the older cars that I drove when I was 18, I am still moving forward in life. I could have easily quit school, gotten a full time job but my choice to be in school to have a better future is more important. Yes, I will making a few sacrifices along the way, but those are only temporary. After I am done with school, I will have more choices.

Money isn't everything but independence is. The fact that I can choose my lifestyle and be able to provide for my family is important to me. I have seen my mom struggle all her life and now I am slowly seeing my father, who hasn't always been in the picture, struggle and I don't want to be that person. I want to be able to live life comfortably. I want to be able to give them the lives they deserve. The simple pleasures in life is all I want to give them, especially my mother.

I realized today that life sometimes puts us in situations that might seem like we are back tracking but in actuality we are moving forward. Moving forward towards dreams... one step closer one day at a time.

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