Friday, September 18, 2009

Remodel....Reconstruct.... Revise

Ever since I have been able to realize what life really means, I've made goals. Goals that are a shadow of my dreams. My dreams are all I have. They keep me going and keep me strong. But each time I seem to get up and go, life kicks me down and all my dreams are shattered. Each time, I have managed to get up, collect those dreams and reconstruct my goals. I understand that life happens but you always have to look straight ahead at what you want, the light at the end of the tunnel, and keep walking and working towards it. I have been kicked so many times... too many times and I have managed but why do I feel like this now?

For the past 2 weeks, I have been feeling like I have no control over whats going inside me. Somethings eating me up internally. I feel like closing everything out and focusing on just one thing, something I have control over. School. Ofcourse, I job to go hand in hand but seriously, I dont want money or any luxuries. I just want to be able to afford my books and simple things in life and just work towards my degree in Psychology and get into law school. NOTHING ELSE SEEMS TO MATTER RIGHT NOW! My dream to be loved has died. My dream for alot of things have died. Have I finally woken up and realized something? I don't know what this hollowness is but I just want to take this energy and use it towards school. God give me the strength to get there.

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