Saturday, July 4, 2009

Confidence

Self confidence: assurance: freedom from doubt; belief in yourself and your abilities.

So with that noted, how many people do you know that actually have self-confidence? I know I don't. I'm always doubting myself. Can I do this? Is this really me? Will this look good? Does this make me look fat?

There isn't one day of my life when I have woken up and felt like, yes, today I can do whatever I want. Pretty sad, I know.

BUT today, after talking to a friend for about an hour, I realized something. Self-confidence is something I have to build. I think all my life, I have been looking for confirmation from others to be who I am. Does that make any sense?

I've always wanted to be accepted by others. Too many times I will pick out a shirt, a dress or pants, look at it twice maybe thrice and put it down. Internally, I like it but I think, people might think I'm weird for wearing that. Always worried about what others have to say or what others might think.

It wasn't until today that I realized, thats not me. Yes, it took me 24 years to figure that out...

So, from today... I have made a decision. No more living my life for others- I'm living for me. Because if I am happy, people that matter to me will be happy. And if they aren't, then they shouldn't matter to me.

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